I Went to Antigua for Carnival. I Came Home Different.

I went for the costumes, music and Mas. Somewhere between the celebration, new friendships and one unforgettable goodbye, the trip became something much deeper.

I've been home from Antigua for a couple of weeks now, and I think I'm finally ready to talk about this trip. And that's saying something because y'all know I can talk. 😂 I went to Antigua for Carnival. I expected beautiful costumes, good music, good food, some rum, plenty of laughs and a chance to experience Carnival firsthand.

I got all of that.

But Antigua gave me something I wasn't expecting.

Let's Start With the Trip

First things first, Antigua's airport impressed me. I didn't have Global Entry or any type of speed pass, and from arrival to getting through the airport took about 15 minutes. Fifteen! That's the kind of arrival experience I can appreciate.

I stayed at the Royalton Chic in an Ocean View Suite with a king bed. The room was spacious, clean and beautifully decorated. My cousin had a Diamond Club Ocean Front Suite, so I got a chance to compare the two. Her room itself was pretty similar to mine, but that oceanfront view was definitely more direct. The biggest difference was really the Diamond Club perks. She had access to an exclusive check-in lounge, a separate restaurant for breakfast and a private bar area.

Travel advisor hat on for a second: if you're considering Diamond Club, I wouldn't necessarily upgrade expecting a dramatically different room. You're paying for the extras, exclusivity and upgraded experience. Okay. Travel advisor hat back off. Because we came for CARNIVAL.

Hurry Up and Wait

If you've ever participated in Carnival, you probably already know where I'm going with this….Costume pickup. Chile! It was a hurry up and wait situation. And somehow, in the middle of all that running around, waiting and trying to get our lives together, I met some really nice ladies from North Carolina. We ended up riding to Mas Camp together. Twice. Don't ask. 😂 But that's one of the things I started noticing about this trip. Every inconvenience seemed to put me in the path of somebody I was supposed to meet. On the final costume pickup day, I met Ebony from New York. Beautiful spirit. Come to find out, Ebony and I were section mates. Not only that, we had the exact same costume. She was originally supposed to come to Antigua with two other ladies, but they decided not to come. Ebony came anyway, and I'm so glad she did because I got to become a little part of her birthday journey, and she became part of my Antigua story.

There's a lesson in that by itself:

Don't cancel your joy because somebody else cancels their plans.

Happy birthday again, Ebony. ❤️

Air, Land and Sea...Seriously

Sunday was our beach hut day’ and apparently getting there required us to travel by air, land and sea.

SERIOUSLY (we arrived to Antigua by air, was transported to the ferry by bus and transported to the private island by ferry). 😂

But once we got there? Worth it! The sea was unbelievably clear. We had private beach huts where we could relax, eat, drink and enjoy ourselves. I really liked the setup; the huts were near enough that you didn't feel isolated, but they were spaced far enough apart that each group could entertain themselves without disturbing their neighbors. The food was good too. We had chicken and beef skewers, saltfish croquettes, a fruit platter and pot stickers.

But I have to shout out Allani and Louis. Our servers were phenomenal. Attentive without hovering. Friendly. Professional. They took great care of us and helped make an already beautiful day even better.

And then...

It Was Time to Play Mas

Jouvert was a BLAST. But Tuesday Mas?

BABY!! Tuesday Mas was the chef's kiss. The costumes. The colors. The music. The energy.

Seeing all those beautiful costumes coming down the road was everything I imagined Carnival would be.

But surprisingly, the costumes weren't what affected me the most.

It was the love.

I watched complete strangers look out for each other like they'd known each other forever.

People hyping up their bandmates. Helping each other. Dancing together. Checking on each other. Complimenting each other.

Just LOVE.

And there is something powerful about being surrounded by Black people, and especially Black women, completely free in that moment.

Bodies bodying.

Feathers feathering.

Music LOUD.

Nobody shrinking themselves.

Nobody apologizing for taking up space.

Just joy.

That alone would've made Antigua Carnival worth the trip.

But apparently Antigua wasn't finished with me yet.

The Women I Would Meet

I came to Antigua with people I already loved. I got to spend this experience with Patty, my sister/cousin, and my good, good girlfriends Muffin and Roz. That alone was special.

But then I met Kimtrice, Janine and Nancy. Three women who started this trip as strangers. Over the next few days, something started happening with Nancy. She reminded me of my mom.

It wasn't one big obvious thing. It was little things. Her presence. Her spirit. Something about her became more and more familiar to me as the days passed.

Then came our final goodbye.

And This Is Where Antigua Changed for Me

Nancy hugged me.

And I mean she HUGGED me.

Then she started speaking into my ear.

I'm not going to share everything she said because some things don't need to be made public. Some moments belong to you.

But I know what I heard.

That woman spoke so eloquently, so intentionally and so meaningfully into my ear that I cried crocodile tears.

Because somewhere inside those words, I heard my mother.

My mother is deceased. Yet standing there in Antigua, wrapped in the arms of a woman I had only met days before, I received words that felt like they had been whispered into Nancy's ear by my mom. Call it coincidence. Call it timing. Call it whatever makes sense to you. I know what it felt like to me. And every time I thought about that moment afterward, I cried again. Hell, I sat in the airport crying while trying to write about it.

That's when I realized something.

Maybe this whole journey led me to that moment.

Maybe I needed to get on a plane, fly to Antigua, put on some feathers, jump in the road, meet some strangers and live a little louder than usual just so I could be still enough at the end to receive a message I needed.

I heard it loud and clear.

Black Women Are Dope as Fuck

There really isn't a more delicate way I want to say it.

Black women are dope as fuck.

There is something about the way we can mother each other, sister each other, protect each other, hype each other up and speak life into one another. Sometimes we do it for women we've known our entire lives. Sometimes we do it for a woman we met three days ago.

And when the Spirit is in somebody and they have something you're supposed to receive? Good luck avoiding it.

Nancy gave me something that day that she probably didn't even fully understand she was giving me and I'll carry it with me.

I Thought I Was Going to Carnival

That's the funny part…I thought I was going to Antigua to experience Carnival.

And I did.

I played Mas. I danced. I laughed. I ate. I drank. I wore the costume. I took the pictures. I enjoyed that gorgeous Caribbean water.

I spent time with women I love and made connections with women who were strangers just days before. But somewhere along the way, this stopped being just another trip…

I participated in Antigua Carnival physically.

I was transformed mentally and spiritually.

That's what came home with me. And maybe that's why I've waited a couple of weeks to write this. I needed to understand what happened before I tried to explain it. Turns out, I still can't completely explain it. And I'm okay with that.

Some trips give you pictures.

Some give you stories.

Some give you new friends.

And every once in a while, if you're lucky, a trip gives you a piece of yourself back.

Antigua gave me all four.

So yes, Antigua Carnival was a vibe.

Yes, I would absolutely go back.

And yes, Vibe & Voyages will have plenty more to say about how to do Antigua Carnival right.

But this first story couldn't be about packages, resorts or itineraries.

This one had to be about what happened to me.

I went to Antigua for Carnival.

I came home different.

And apparently...Welcome to the new me.‼️